Marital Advice For the Real World

Posted on Posted in Writing and Speaking

If you’re confused by every one of the marital advice floating around online and during talk shows today, you are not alone. It looks like most people are an expert. Some well-known marriage therapists are already married (and divorced!) 2-3 times or even more. With that type of track record, it appears like they might determine what fails but haven’t quite discovered exactly what does work. On the other extreme, you’ve experts who give marriage advice while they have never been married themselves.

Nevertheless there is no deficiency of “experts” giving out marital advice, I prefer to attend the actual experts: couples who had been married happily for several years. Whenever I see a silver-haired couple who still take a look at each other like newlyweds, I’m wondering what exactly will be the secret of their success? After a little bit of research, the following is some advice for marriage from longtime couples…

Failure is Not a choice. Couples in successful marriages are undoubtedly focused on their union. They take seriously their marriage vows , nor entertain thoughts that perhaps they would be happier elsewhere. Divorce isn’t a part of their vocabulary. When you realize you might be with someone for much better or worse, ’til death do you part, you in turn become very serious about cultivating a harmonious household atmosphere.

Common Spirituality. Most successful couples share a standard spiritual background or value system. The old saying, “The family that prays together, stays together,” holds true within a marriage at the same time. Christian marriage counseling often stresses the significance of attending worship services together to aid mend broken marriages. If you’re not inclined to think within a higher power, using a shared goal or passion could also unite a few.

Mutual Respect. You won’t need to trust your spouse all the time, however it is imperative that you respect their opinion. One step to a long lasting marriage is accepting and understanding your differences. This means never dismissing your spouse’s feelings or concerns, regardless of whether they appear silly to you personally.

Ongoing Intimacy. Even older couples agree that intimacy in the marriage is very important. And in contrast to other marital suggest that maybe have you do calisthenics within the bedroom, real couples claim that there is absolutely no reason to reinvent the wheel. The notion that marital intimacy must be constantly exciting and new is overrated. What’s important is always that each spouse takes some time to meet the other’s needs. And that means taking your affection out of your bedroom too – physical contact such as non-sexual hugs, kisses and caresses help spouses keep a bond during the day.

One Marriage, Two different people. Perhaps one bit of marital advice that might surprise younger couples is a pleasant marriage doesn’t require a couple being joined at the hip constantly. When you should stay away from the trap to become “married singles” that you both lead separate lives, you should also avoid co-dependency. Older couples not only share activities and hobbies, in addition they nurture their individual passions too. Sometimes, the top marital advice for the way to save lots of a relationship would be to observe that you are each individuals who need your own breathing space. Suffocating your better half by demanding their full attention 24/7 can easily turn a pleasant marriage in a nightmare situation.

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